Things I have learned from being Unemployed

I have been out of work for 3 months now.
I lost my job right after I moved out of my parents house
and into a house of my own (with 2 roommates)

There have been ALOT of up's and down's...
I am a pretty positive person, so I try to make the best of every situation
it is really hard in the bad times
sometimes it seems like the ground has fallen out from underneath you and there is nothing to cling to and you are just waiting for that final straw to break and for you to lose all hope and go under.

but I am not in one of those moods right now, I am in a really positive mood considering all my circumstances.

So here are some of the things I have learned in the past few months

1. Don't worry about tomorrow/Enjoy today.
I have come to the conclusion during this "time off" that how I spend my time is so important. I need to be doing stuff I love. things that I am passionate about. Anyone who knows me knows that the 3 things that I love more then anything in this world are My Family, My Friends and Music/The Channel.
I think that before, though I was doing what I love and pretty much the same things I am doing now, but I didn't take enough ME time, I didn't want to be selfish. But taking the time to remember why I fell in love with music, why I fell in love with the channel, Why I love my family, and why I love my friends (I will probably have to write a separate post on each of those later)
It has made me passionate again, and not to be morbid or one of "those" people. But if this is it. if this were the last year of my life. I wouldn't have any regrets. Because I have filled my time with things I love. I don't regret spending money to go up to cornerstone (even though it might not have been the "smartest" decision) it was a great week, I had fun with my brother and John and fell in love with new music.
I don't regret not cutting the grass, because I got to spend that whole day with friends.
so don't live in fear, or freak out about the future. I have no clue where or what I am going to be doing in 5 years, heck I don't even know what I am going to be doing in a year.
But I know that I am doing what I love right now, all I know is I am where I am supposed to be here and now. And I am not worrying about tomorrow

2. Humbled and Honest (but not defeated)
I have learned to be honest about my situation, I am not a very open person. I do better to process things myself and just hold it all in (it drives my mother crazy) But I have learned through this process to be honest about where I am. When I am having a hard day, just be up front about it, if things are good let people know. I went through like 2 weeks with a big F You attitude. And I was honest about that, I have a bad attitude and I know it... So if I bite your head off I am sorry it isn't personal. I just have a bad attitude.
But I have also learned humility, I can't do this alone. I have needed help, and I don't have a false sense of I can make it myself. Because I can't
I have had to ask for help, and I have great friends and family who have been there to back me up. to encourage me and to make me laugh even on those hard days. and I really appreciate it and know I can't thank you all enough. You are the reason I have made it this far without being totally depressed.

3. It's ok to Cry
I have probably cried more in the last 3 months then I have in my whole life. because everything has piled up one thing on another. Some of it has been snotty crying, then uncontrollable I can't breathe exhausting tears, and then there are just those that just come randomly and unexpectedly rolling slowly down your cheeks tears.
I used to be so weirded out about crying and would only cry in my room by myself. because I didn't want to be looked at as "weak" and "emotion" Well guess what! I am weak, I can't do this on my own. and I am emotional... but my gosh! who wouldn't be? alot has happened, and I don't really care if you see me as weak and emotional.
So I have learned to embrace and even at times enjoy the tears, they are cleansing. and seeing that I have a really hard time expressing myself sometimes. The tears have been good, they have been a way to let go of all the stress and feelings that at times I don't even understand.


4. I am pretty awesome, and have done more then I realized
So during this unemployment, I had to write a resume. I never really had to have one before, because I was a nanny and always worked for people I already knew or who knew my former employers. It was really eye opening. I have done a whole lot in my 22 years.
And being able to put it out on paper, and actually see my skills and acomplishments written out in front of me... it has given me alot of confidence. Of course is hasn't really helped me get a job yet.... but you never know. I encourage you if you have never had to write a resume or had to convince someone why you are awesome. try it. people can tell you all the time that you are amazing... but it isn't until you begin to know and believe it yourself that things begin to change.

So those are just a few of the things I have learned in this journey,
I don't know where I am headed, I don't have a clue what the destination is or even the next step to get there. But I am making the most of every moment.



"There is no future, there is no past, I live this moment as my last. There's only us there's only this, forget regret or life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way, No Day But Today"